During a recent conversation I started listing all the baseball teams I hated and I figured, why stop there? A brief rundown of all the sports teams I hate and reasons:
Mets - as a Braves fan, this one needs no further explanation
Phillies - ditto
Marlins - ditto ditto, but with the added hatred that they have managed to win two World Series without a single division title. Lame.
Yankees - I want 1996 back.
Red Sox - Your fans are obnoxious and bandwagon jumpers. Stop with the shamrock caps, for the love of all that is holy.
Astros - The 18-inning playoff game in 2005.
Cardinals - The 2006 World Series. Why couldn't you have won it back when you were actually good? Nobody actually thinks you were the best team that season. Grrr.
Football (college, of course)
Auburn - I'm from Tuscaloosa. Both of my parents worked at the University of Alabama. Done.
Tennessee - Yep. Plus, that gawd-awful orange will make you go blind or crazy.
Florida - Steve Spurrier losing to Vandy was such sweet karmic revenge. And the Gator Chomp sucks.
Kansas - I went to Missouri. Scoreboard.
Nebraska - I know it's an old joke, but I never get tired of hearing that the N on their helmets stands for Knowledge.
Oklahoma - This is just bitterness. They knocked us out of the Big 12 basketball tournament two years I was there, kept us out of the Final Four, and last season kept us from the national title game in football. Wow, we've really been their bitch.
Seattle SuperSonics - I was a Rockets fan in the mid 90s because they drafted Robert Horry (Bama guy), and the Rockets and Sonics were constantly battling for supremacy in the Western Conference. I remember feeling so lucky that they played on my birthday one year - 13th, I think - and the Rockets beat them. Now I can't hate the Sonics. Nobody can.
Colorado Avalanche - Back in high school I started rooting for the Red Wings because they were always on and I was trying to teach myself the rules and strategy of hockey. I know this makes me as bad as those kids who become Yankees fans because they're always good but I never rubbed it in anyone's face. Except anyone who rooted for the Avs. The Wings/Avs rivalries were pretty intense. Exhibit A:
Birmingham City FC -Now that I've become a complete soccer addict, I've also developed new hatreds. Aston Villa's crosstown rivals aren't always in the Premier League, but it's more fun when they are. Villa fans even managed to change the words of Winter Wonderland to taunt City fans.
I'm sure I'm leaving out some important ones, so remind me and leave your own in the comments.